Road rage improvised

Have you ever gotten road rage in a parking lot? I'm not talking about someone jumping in a space you had picked out or a car double-parked so it doesn't get a ding. I'm talking about a public display of ignorance that should give every on-looker permission to beat the piss out of someone.

Two examples... First we go the Boys and Girls Club in Hot Springs for a 5th grade girls basketball game. Now understand this place is located in Da Hood. You are more likely to get hit by a stray bullet in this neighborhood than you are likely to get hit by lightning while hugging the tallest tree in the forest during a thunderstorm with a graphite rod shoved up your ass. So I understand that everyone wants to be as close to the front door as possible, it's a shorter dash to cover. But damn, man, don't intentionally double park and block in a few cars that can't leave when you know they got there first and are likely going to be leaving first. We came out of the game and I am blocked in by a circle of cars and the in-laws are blocked in by one dumbass. I actually sized up the surrounding cars to see which one I could ease up to, put the truck in 4-wheel drive and push into the street to make an escape. Then I thought I would just call the closest wrecker service and tell them I locked myself out of one of the idiots cars. Just have a wrecker tow it off. Then someone decided to leave, giving me a way out. The in-laws had to go back inside and track down the owner of the car that had them blocked in. Quite a chore in a building with 8 different teams playing.

Then there's the middle school pick-up area. What a cluster fuck. There is no organized manner to do this. No pick-up/ drop-off lane or easy way to do this. Imagine a small gravel parking lot with one way in and out, room for about 50 cars total, there are 25 already parked there and 40 more parents are trying to get in and out to get the kids. What happens is the first parents park in whatever available space happens to be open and the rest form a line from the highway to a building where the kids appear after school. In theory, the lead car in line picks up their kid(s), finds a way to get turned around in the parking lot and make your way out so the line can advance.

So I am in line, with a shitload of other parents and there is this one minivan in the front. Apparently she is picking up half the kids in middle school that day. And not all at once, oh no, in five minute intervals. She is totally throwing the already enraging routine all out of whack. Move out of the way, find somewhere to park and wait for the entourage there. No one else can move. After 15 minutes of just sitting there I wanted to jerk her fat ass out of the van, beat her to the ground and run her over with her own van while I cleared the way for every other parent there.