For sale, rent or trade

If you read the profile you know I run a Drug Task Force. It takes a special type of personality to do this type of work and historically, we love to tease and pull pranks on one another. No one is immune to it (myself included) and I want to write about a couple of classic pranks we pulled on Chad.

Quick background on Chad... we went through the academy together many years ago and now he works for me, pretty much everyone loves him and he gets along with pretty much everyone. He is perfect to prank because you know exactly where his heart is and he takes it so well. We have pulled some pretty foul gags that cost him a lot, including trust, but check these out (even Chad loved them).

Back when the Federal Government funded the War on Drugs we had it made. Everything was paid for, all operating expenses including leased vehicles and telecommunications for all the Agents. Well, the priority to have a War on Drugs has been abandoned over the past few years to rebuild shit we intentionally blew up in Iraq (go figure). So our funding has been cut drastically the past two years.

Local agencies became burdened to supply cell phones, provide an undercover vehicle and pay for gas. Chad was used to a new phone, a gas card that was accepted anywhere in the State and a newer model vehicle. That all changed and the big thing was the lack of a phone and the car. They gave him a Chevy Lumina (called the N0-room-ina by Chad) that was retired from the Police Dept. years ago and every thug in town knew it, plus no phone.

The car had no air conditioning, hail damage that resembled a golf ball, and a history in town that meant he could not work out of it affectively. H ewas mad and complained constantly. Plus no phone, couldn't call or get ahold of him.

He leaves town to instruct a class one day and left his No-room-ina backed in the carport at the house (which is on a major road in town). We headed straight for some shoe polish. On the front glass "For Sale, or will trade for Cell Phone", on the back glass, "Hail damage, no air, leave number on car, no cell phone available". We actually wrote all over the car. A Lt. and 2 Sgt.'s from the Dept. that provided the vehicle drove by that day and actually thought he was trying sell a Police car. A month later, I send him out of town for a week of training. New idea... put his house up for rent while he is out of town! We recruited help, had a "For Rent" sign purchased and a "HUD Accepted" sign stolen to be placed in the yard. This house would probably rent for $600-800 and we listed it for $200 and put his cell phone number on the sign.

He called Wednesday wanting to know why every crackhead in town was calling, wanting to rent his house. I denied any knowledge. He said that his dad had been by the house and took the sign out of the yard. He also said that he had received over 100 calls, even calls from Memphis (over 2 yours away) from people wanting to rent this nice house for only $200 a month of government money.

His phone rang all week long, couldn't hardly get on the phone without someone trying to rent the house he was living in. We laugh about it now and Chad... I love you man. I would love to apologize for the long list of shit we have all pulled on you, but I can't. And I know you have a return of favor planned but I am ready and holding the best for last if you dare. Well, I do apologize for that time we led you to believe I shot someone and you called everyone in the State to help to get to us, but everything else was pretty damn funny.