Love thy neighbor

Tasha and I have lived together (and apart) in two States and in a plethora of properties. Over the years we have been pretty fortunate with regards to neighbors. A good neighbor is a large contributing factor to determine happiness at home.

When we first married we moved into a cul-de-sac of duplexes in a suburban area of town. Pretty nice place; roomy, usually quiet, the other half of our duplex remained unoccupied, and it had a fenced back yard. Then we got new neighbors in the next duplex... college kids.

When they moved in I had a Rottweiler named Caesar. He was probably one of the largest and strongest dogs of his kind on the planet. These guys move in next door and see that our back yards are separated by a 4 foot tall chain-linked fence. I'm not sure what set them off, but these guys would constantly provoke the dog and throw shit at him. They even threw a dog over the fence to fight Caesar. That was a bad idea, Caesar nearly killed it before I figured out what was going on and called him off. These guys were major pains in the ass and ultimately made Caesar mean and very aggressive towards strangers.

It wasn't just the dog or just them. They would throw huge college parties (which I was not opposed to) but they too would mess with the dog, throw shit in the yard, be loud until ridiculous hours of the night and the only pleasure I got was catching a drunk peeing at the fence. See Caesar would attack on command. Ever see a drunk peeing at a chain-linked fence when, all of a sudden out of the darkness, a 200 pound Rott is a foot from his peepee trying to attack? That is some funny shit. I saw so many guys piss on themselves while falling backwards I couldn't even count them up.

One morning we got off work at 7am and my best friend and I decide to sit outside at the front door, drinking scotch and 7 with Michelob, and toast everyone leaving the cul-de-sac for work. Then the neighbors decide to leave for class (I guess). One decides he is going to spin out across the front yards, including my front yard, and hit the road from my driveway spinning tires. He managed to rut the hell out of my front yard and dodge a Michelob bottle I hurled at him.

They eventually got evicted and had to move out. I noticed they were trying to move, one truck-load at a time, and happened to be gone when the landlord showed up. He asked me if I had seen them and I explained that they appeared to be moving out. He changed the locks, stated that they were behind on rent and he planned to keep whatever was left in the house. I asked what he planned to do with the property and he said he would trash it, give it away, didn't care... he didn't want it, just wanted to deprive them of it. I asked about the items left outside and he said take what you want.

The landlord left and I checked out what was left on the patio in the back yard. Score!! A nice aquarium and stand with the filters and all the fixins. I called a friend that was wanting one, told him to come immediately, which he did and we loaded him up.

Later that afternoon the assholes returned to find they were locked out and the aquarium was gone. They didn't seem too upset about the furniture in the house, but pretty pissed about the aquarium missing. Ha Ha, that's what you get. Assholes.