Celebrity shag list

I happened to be at the Country Club yesterday for a bite to eat and a beer or two and see a young couple at the bar. I know the misses and know that she is recently married and get invited to sit with them. It's all good, we have both the NCAA men's tourney on and the final round of the TPC at Sawgrass and we are talking sports.

So I am talking with the hubby and having a great time when a commercial comes on. I don't recall the commercial, but he made a comment to his wife about how good looking the actress was. At that point I was reminded of newlywed life.

I am no Dr. Phil but I know that certain things happen for certain newlyweds. Some folks have pre-nuptial agreements. Others have a celebrity shag list.

If you don't know what shag means you can move to England or get out of the trailer and rent Austin Powers. Anyway, Tasha and I had a celebrity shag list and I asked the couple at the country club if they had one and they did!! Incredible. Not that I made it up or anything, just funny.

Ok, here's the deal... you get married and you have a list of 5 celebrities each, which each of you can lay, without consequence, if the opportunity ever presents itself. Sounds good for the guys. Permission to shag 5 super hot, famous women without consequence. A guy had to have made this up. You have to name the celebs, keep to the list, and that's the deal.

After several months I got to thinking. What are the chances that I ever get to meet a person on my list, and if so, what are the chances I get laid? Nil, nada, zip, zilch, no way in hell. Even if they happen to be passing through, I save them somehow in a life or death situation, there is no way I get laid. Then I think about the wife. What are the chances that, if she lists a music star and he comes to Little Rock, and she is there, that she gets an invite backstage. And if backstage, that she gets what she wants? Pretty damn good.

We are idiots. We create a scenario that we can not possibly benefit from, we just want permission to mess around with a super model. In the meantime, we give our wives permission to bang the first celebrity that they meet. I explained this to the couple and he looked perplexed and called off all bets while she laughed and reluctantly agreed.

At one point I actually tried to alter my list to include local news people. Hey, I figure I can get an interview a few times and maybe win over some interest with a shot later on, but she stomped on it. Celebrity has to be "nationally known", not just state-wide, not Dawn Scott, not Joan Early, blah, blah... guys, abandon the shag list.