Some things the misses shouldn't do

My ex and I have had some issues, pretty much gotten over those issues, and now she is banned from certain chores. Let me say that she isn't stupid; she appreciates luxuries such as boats, campers, riding lawn-mowers and the like, but she should not be in control of any of them.

First clue. A buddy and I are camping for a few days on the lake. We both take our boats, get the camper set up and plan to drink, fish, cook and camp straight through the scheduled vacation. I invite Tasha down one night to eat, drink and sleep over with us. She arrived and for some reason had to take my truck (which is towing the boat trailer) somewhere for something. She hasn't had anything to drink and off she goes. She returned a short time later and is now tasked to back the trailer into the parking space. She almost ripped the rear bumper off the truck twice before I had time to run across the campground screaming at the top of my lungs to quit. "It wouldn't go straight" she said in a frustrated voice... so she went faster?

So then I agree to buy a Sea Doo jet boat for her and the kids to go to the lake in. Have I lost my freaking mind? She obviously can't back a trailer. She has no idea what so ever how a boat works, how to fix anything, and I buy her a boat to take my kids onto a large lake and trust that they will all make it home safely. What a dumb ass.

Second clue. We have the boat, it's a jet boat, I have explained that the boat intakes water (and anything else in the area) into the motor and exhausts that water to power the boat. Having anything other than water enter the intake is very bad. We know this because we sucked a tow rope into the intake once and the boat simply won't run. So on this day the lake is down, the grass is matted and all over the lake and I simply bring it to her attention (as she takes the kids for a ride on the tube) that you shouldn't run the boat over that thick grass. But she did. So 100 yards from shore the boat won't go, although the engine will rev and smoke, it's barely moving.

She's pissed, I'm pissed, I have to drag the boat to the ramp by hand and pull it out to find 20 feet of grass hung in the intake. It was so thick I had to wait until it was dry to free it from the intake. So Tasha is banned from backing a trailer and driving the boat in shallow water. The boat is for sale actually (as well as my house and cat) anyone interested should comment.

Third clue. Tasha has about 2 acres of property that has to be mowed. Push mowing that much land is an all day affair. Get done and you're sweating your ass off and hands feel like pins and needles from the vibration. So her dad gives her a riding lawn mower. It's old but works fine. Until Tasha gets ahold of it. Can you believe she was just mowing when all of a sudden, for no reason, one of the two blades bends itself all to Hell and warps the mount? Now she can mow on the left side of the mower and plow on the right. Her dad came and fixed it. That leads us to...

Fourth clue. The mower is fixed. She has (or should have) learned that the mower is not an Army tank, you can break it. So she promptly tries to mow the metal pipe in the ditch at the road. Don't know why, but it's making a very strange noise and all of a sudden she can mow on the left side of the mower and plow on the right side.

She is banned from the riding lawn mower. My 11 year old daughter is allowed on the mower, but Tasha is banned.