King of the Throne

The throne, the phone to the porcelain Gods, the shitter... whatever you call the toilet, there is more to it than a cold seat to take care of #2. Some of my most important phone calls have occured while on the throne. I have completed numerous crossword and Su Doku puzzles while on the throne. I have read books on the throne. Hell, I have slept at the base of a throne or two... but there is more to it then you think.
The problem... a consistent leak of water into the toilet from the tank. What could cause this? Faulty (don't know the techinical name; the plastic flappy thingamajig that covers the hole that allows the water to leave the tank for the toilet). Or, faulty (bulb?) that raises to stop the water from pouring into the tank in the first place. Easy peasy. I have a college education... it's a freaking toilet, how complicated can it be.
Ha, well... first things first. I removed the cover or lid from the tank and straddle the toilet. I notice and very strange black or dark brown slime in there. What the hell is that? Clean water enters a porcelain tank, which is regularly replenished with more clean water, yet there is a funky sludge in there. Any ideas? I am baffled.
Ok, the flappy thing is good, the bulb appears to be operating properly, I am running out of parts and possible solutions. Adjust the bulb height, have the water shut off earlier. Done, still leaks. Readjust, done, still leakes. Recheck the flappy thing. Good. Adjust water pressure entering the tank (shot in the dark), still leaks. Nothing else moves or can be adjusted. How did this just all of a sudden occur and why the hell won't it fix itself?

I have no idea how to fix it. I have failed as a husband, as a dad, and Bob Vila can kiss my ass. It's not like I had to re-plumb the entire house, I know, but if you can't fix a toilet of all things what good are you? It's a damn good thing I can hang Christmas lights and change light bulbs.

Solution: Turn off the water source to stop the waste and buy a new toilet. I never really liked that one anyway. And I know how to install a toilet, wax ring and all.
Kiss my ass and eat shit (one more time) toilet!!!!